April 26-28Washington, DC We are Sponsoring Higher Logic Super Forum 2026 This year’s theme, Amplify: Where Innovation Grows, Communities Thrive, and AI Accelerates Success, sets the stage for our most […]
Guest Author: Amanda Lea Kaiser
“Don’t misbehave, say the wrong thing, or be bad!!! Now, go be creative.” This is the weird internal monologue I have nearly every time I read codes of conduct or participate in a ground rules-setting exercise. We tell people what they can’t do and hope they bring their best, most generous, and creative selves to the conversation.
Too heavy-handed and codes of conduct or ground rules may make a community quiet, but they are often ignored. Either way, neither is very engaging.
It’s an interesting challenge to flip non-engaging elements into engaging elements, so I’ve been playing with the idea of Reverse Ground Rules.
In the last Member Engagement Lab (missed it? Don’t worry, there’s another on March 21st), a participant asked, “What are Reverse Ground Rules?” Three more people piled on to say they wondered, too. So here it goes!
Reverse Ground Rules give people tips on how to behave. They get a sense of the desired behaviors, mindsets, and interaction styles that will create a positive culture for their member community. Reverse Ground Rules are more about what participants can do than what they can’t.
And there are no rules about how these rules need to look.
During the Virtual Networking Incubator, the participants, my partners at Matchbox, and I created the Golden Rule Haiku.

You don’t have to tell participants what the reverse ground rules are; you can ask them. Participants can share ideas that get them thinking about how to create a beneficial community culture for each other with prompts like, “What kind of community vibe creates feelings of safety so people can share?” or “What environment enables people to try new things?”

When there’s not much time, I might start the list and ask participants to complete it, writing ideas on a flip chart.

Are Reverse Ground Rules a replacement for regular ground rules? Sometimes. There might be occasions when the topic is difficult or super sensitive. Perhaps you suspect bad actors in the room. Or maybe you need a legal leg to stand on; these times, you might need the traditional ground rules or codes of conduct.
In other situations, like when you ask participants to be creative or generous with their ideas, co-creating Reverse Ground Rules might break the ice and get everyone started on the right foot.

Amanda Lea Kaiser is a keynote speaker and author of Elevating Engagement: Uncommon Strategies for Creating a Thriving Member Community. Through her research, Amanda is at the forefront of exploring how member and attendee engagement is rapidly changing within professional communities.

Transform Your Association with our AMS Solutions
Our association management solutions, re:Members AMS and re:Members CRM, empower your association to focus on what matters most – your constituents. See which AMS software fits best with your association.

Increase Your ROI With Our Chapter Performance Solution
re:Members Chapter Performance solution increases ROI across your entire association by providing technology tools to help chapters perform better, and provide data to headquarters. See how we can help you!
Register for an Upcoming Event
|
M
Monday
|
T
Tuesday
|
W
Wednesday
|
T
Thursday
|
F
Friday
|
S
Saturday
|
S
Sunday
|
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 event,
Higher Logic Super Forum 2026
April 26-28Washington, DC We are Sponsoring Higher Logic Super Forum 2026 This year’s theme, Amplify: Where Innovation Grows, Communities Thrive, and AI Accelerates Success, sets the stage for our most […] |
1 event, |
0 events,
|
0 events,
|
1 event,
-
Most executives choose a new AMS maybe once a decade. Some have never done it at all. No wonder the process can feel overwhelming, slow, and—honestly—a little dated. |
0 events,
|
0 events,
|
|
0 events,
|
1 event,
-
Join us and your association staff colleagues to learn the 3 powerful engagement hacks that you can use right away to spark participation and connection. |
0 events,
|
1 event,
Featured
-
Featured
re:Members doesn’t just add product features. We reimagine how associations work. Register for the next re:Members AI Sneak Peek session! |
0 events,
|
0 events,
|
0 events,
|
|
0 events,
|
1 event,
-
In this fast-paced, collaborative session, we will share how to sprinkle a little magic into your everyday work. You will see how to turn regular administrative tasks into meaningful moments of connection. |
0 events,
|
1 event,
-
All-day virtual event where associations can watch structured, side-by-side demos of AMS platforms. We're keeping it to 18 vendors, with three sessions running simultaneously starting at 10 a.m. to 4 […] |
0 events,
|
0 events,
|
0 events,
|
|
0 events,
|
1 event,
-
Let’s talk about how to stay engaging even on the hardest days. You’ll walk away with simple ways to show up with intention keeping engagement strong even when your mood is ⛈️. |
0 events,
|
0 events,
|
0 events,
|
0 events,
|
0 events,
|
|
0 events,
|
0 events,
|
0 events,
|
1 event,
ASAE: MMC + Tech 2026
May 28-29Washington, DC, Walter E. WASHINGTON CONVENTION CENTER If you’re ready to challenge legacy mindsets, propel your association into the future, and foster belonging in a changing world, ASAE’s Marketing, Membership, Communications + Tech Conference (MMC+Tech) is where […] |
1 event, |
0 events,
|
0 events,
|









